Posted by PrestoPundit on 07/16/2008

on sound investments alone.”  Unbelievable:

The current economic woes, brought on by the collapse of the “housing bubble,” are considered the worst to hit investors since the equally untenable dot-com bubble burst in 2001. According to investment experts, now that the option of making millions of dollars in a short time with imaginary profits from bad real-estate deals has disappeared, the need for another spontaneous source of wealth has never been more urgent.

“Perhaps the new bubble could have something to do with watching movies on cell phones,” said investment banker Greg Carlisle of the New York firm Carlisle, Shaloe & Graves. “Or, say, medicine, or shipping. The manner of bubble isn’t important — just as long as it creates a hugely overvalued market based on nothing more than whimsical fantasy and saddled with the potential for a long-term accrual of debts that will never be paid back, thereby unleashing a ripple effect that will take nearly a decade to correct.”

“The U.S. economy cannot survive on sound investments alone,” Carlisle added.

Read the whole thing.  You can’t make stuff like this up.



  1. PCLE said

    The Onion is a satirical magazine.

  2. Tom Mathers said

    The Onion = Satire.

  3. The Onion is more accurate than many allegedly-serious news outlets. Maybe they thought a class-action lawsuit against junk food was far-fetched satire, but it turned out not to be. Maybe they thought Congress Abandons WikiConstitution was an absurd parody, but it’s an accurate description of what the courts have done with the Constitution.

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